Hey Kayla,
I only checked up on this blog tonight, and it's been even longer since I last contributed something. I'm in Kentucky with my parents before they leave for their trip to Argentina and Peru in the morning. It's been great spending time with them, especially since I hadn't been home since New Years! Being here also feels like going backwards in time; being with them reminds me of how much I need to grow. I don't mean "grow up" but just, grow. My parents are very selfless and loving people and when I'm with them I always see that in the little and big ways they care for their family and home and even their little dog Munkie! I feel like a little kid again. They take care of me and go about their errands while I lay around the house with few obligations. I feel like a teenage too except I notice all the ways I can be difficult and was difficult at times when I was living with them. Now I know that I won't always agree with them, but I can learn to communicate with them and love them better.
I've been reading "How To Love" by Thich Nhat Hanh with short passages and notes on love, just a few pages every night or so. After reading bell hook's All About Love this January I decided to actively practice love in my life. Although in the back of my mind it's how I wish to act, it's not how it always turns out. I want love to be first in my mind. In your last longish post you mentioned thinking about death. I think about it too. My parents are going on this trip for about three weeks. My Dad showed my brother where their will was in case anything happened. I started thinking what if something does happen? It makes me want to make the most of every moment I spend with them. The fear of death can transform in to a motivation to live. Who cares about the little or big things we don't agree on? In this moment (how many more will we have) I choose to love.
There are more things on my mind, but it's late and if I don't post now who knows when you'll see it. I also want to be a little more succinct with these posts and blog about one topic at a time. I have a lot to tell you, but I want to be a more mindful of what I write publicly--what from my life do I want to share and how do I want to share it? I'm considering these questions but also happy to be blogging again. I'm going to see my brother, my cousin, and Perla tomorrow in Lexington and Louisville. Should be fun. Funny reunion with the Gilmore Girls band by the way. See you soon! I'll be back in town and ready to chill wit cha Thursday. Come at me! Peace. -G
Currently Reading: Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov
2015 Job Applications Submitted So Far: 10
Taylor Swift Song of the Month (it's a thing! I'm making it a thing!): Mean
Tuesday, June 9, 2015
Sunday, June 7, 2015
A Quick Cup of Awesome on a Sunday Morning
Ginny,
As I sip on my warm cup of green tea and browse the news online this morning, I stumble across something that unleashes my inner fangirl. And you would appreciate this as well. Ahhhh!! xD < Fangirl moment. The cast of Gilmore Girls reunited at the Austin TV festival and there was a video of something awesome. Here is the awesome:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Oz9q6V15BKQ&feature=player_embedded
Hep Alien reunited to play a set. That's right. But Gil was missing and he added an ounce of awesome to their awesomeness.
So much awesome and now I cannot stop saying "awesome."
Awesome.
As I sip on my warm cup of green tea and browse the news online this morning, I stumble across something that unleashes my inner fangirl. And you would appreciate this as well. Ahhhh!! xD < Fangirl moment. The cast of Gilmore Girls reunited at the Austin TV festival and there was a video of something awesome. Here is the awesome:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Oz9q6V15BKQ&feature=player_embedded
Hep Alien reunited to play a set. That's right. But Gil was missing and he added an ounce of awesome to their awesomeness.
So much awesome and now I cannot stop saying "awesome."
Awesome.
Monday, May 11, 2015
Persevering with Life's Overwhelm
Ginny,
I have been struggling on and off lately, getting overwhelmed. I'll deal with things and feel great for a while, but then the overwhelm sneaks its way back in.
Sometimes when the pain and stress and irritations keep building up, I want to find an escape-- something to cope with. I often turn to books, animated movies, etc. It's easy to escape, hard to deal with what's in front of you. It's fine to escape, but only for so long. I can stay there and not have to deal with what causes discomfort. The longer you stay, the harder it can be to bring yourself back. Back to face your current situations that cause you stress, anxiety, depression, and so on. Back to take action in your life to make it better, to make it what you had hoped it would be one day. But where you are now is probably not where you'd envisioned being. That's where I am. And it's becoming more of a regular struggle as I get older. But I'm working on that. I know where I want to go and that it's always going to be a work in progress; the journey is never over. But it's hard when you feel far away from what you'd hoped for your life.
I am so grateful for everything in my life. But I yearn for more-- for better. I know I will go do great, positive things and live in a place where I thrive and feel alive on a regular basis. But it is not here, where I am.
I don't want to wake up, dreading the work day ahead, and waiting for the weekend to arrive. I want to wake up, feeling excited about what's to come. I need to feel alive a lot more often. I need to be in the present moment, taking action to make that happen.
When it feels like you're so far away that it's easier to escape into another world, another reality of someone else with perhaps bigger problems than yourself. Why is it so hard to take action in your own life? Maybe you don't know how. Maybe you do, but for some reason have a hard time doing what needs to be done. When this happens for me, it's usually when I will feel overwhelmed by the build-up of day to day stresses.
It can be hard to pull myself out of the overwhelming, stressed feeling. I have to take time to meditate and clear my thoughts of all the negativity and shit. Why does it seem so easy for your mind to be clouded with negative, self sabotaging thoughts? I have to make myself take the time to sit quietly and honestly with myself. This is like my light reset button on a video game.
I sit quietly, focusing on my breathing to calm my body of any anxiousness or stress I feel. Thoughts soon flow of things that have added up to overwhelm me. I think about priorities and what matters most. Reminding myself of this helps align what I need to focus on most. The other smaller things that have been piling up can be dealt with and the stress of that will soon pass. It is like mentally ripping off a band-aid. But once you do, it's much easier to deal with what's underneath.
I also remind myself that I let myself become stressed and my daily decisions led me here. I have the power to deal with things and fix them. After this realization, it becomes easier to take the next step. It might not be easy but it's what I have to do in order to get where my heart yearns to go. By continuing to escape and ignore what's overwhelming me, it will most likely become worse when I rip off the band-aid and am forced to deal.
After reflecting on all of this, I made a list of how I persevere. And I will check this list again when I am down.
* When life gets tough, hold on to these thoughts and visions.
Keep your dreams close by.
Envision where you want to be and will be.
Remind yourself why you're doing this, how you want to feel, and how you can make the world better because of my dreams.
* Stop looking for outside answers when you need to look inward.
Don't compare yourself or your progress. Focus on YOU.
Stop procrastinating by looking into youtube videos and websites to learn. There is a time for this but not now. This often feels productive when you don't have to do anything but sit there and watch someone else DO when YOU should be DOING.
So lay out a basic plan and starting doing.
* Do a little bit everyday and build the habit.
You feel better when progress is made even if your goal seems far away.
Let your passion overcome laziness. If not, it could become a regret one day.
And you don't want to regret the "Shoulda, woulda, coulda" in life.
Commit yourself to DO in a short period of time. Just do 5 minutes. You may extend it or not. But after those 5 minutes, progress will have been made. And that will eventually add up.
* Death sits on my shoulder, reminding me of my mortality.
I often think of death. Maybe that's morbid, but I don't think so.
This calls for action. You don't have infinite time to get yourself out there and get things done.
When my loved ones have died in the past, I felt like they lived on in my heart and memories. They became part of me and I told myself that I would live as best as I could to keep part of them alive too. This was also a way for me to cope with losing them.
For writing the first post in a long time, this was definitely a heavier and personal topic for me. But I feel lighter for getting this all out. And maybe it will help you too.
Anyway, G. I miss ya! I leave for the cruise this Friday and will be gone for a week without any communication. This vacation is going to be my reboot, which is much needed right now. When I'm back, we'll go explore some parks and I will bring my dog. He is a blast to play with outside. And we can bring snacks too. I am looking forward to it!
<3
Kayla
I have been struggling on and off lately, getting overwhelmed. I'll deal with things and feel great for a while, but then the overwhelm sneaks its way back in.
Sometimes when the pain and stress and irritations keep building up, I want to find an escape-- something to cope with. I often turn to books, animated movies, etc. It's easy to escape, hard to deal with what's in front of you. It's fine to escape, but only for so long. I can stay there and not have to deal with what causes discomfort. The longer you stay, the harder it can be to bring yourself back. Back to face your current situations that cause you stress, anxiety, depression, and so on. Back to take action in your life to make it better, to make it what you had hoped it would be one day. But where you are now is probably not where you'd envisioned being. That's where I am. And it's becoming more of a regular struggle as I get older. But I'm working on that. I know where I want to go and that it's always going to be a work in progress; the journey is never over. But it's hard when you feel far away from what you'd hoped for your life.
I am so grateful for everything in my life. But I yearn for more-- for better. I know I will go do great, positive things and live in a place where I thrive and feel alive on a regular basis. But it is not here, where I am.
I don't want to wake up, dreading the work day ahead, and waiting for the weekend to arrive. I want to wake up, feeling excited about what's to come. I need to feel alive a lot more often. I need to be in the present moment, taking action to make that happen.
When it feels like you're so far away that it's easier to escape into another world, another reality of someone else with perhaps bigger problems than yourself. Why is it so hard to take action in your own life? Maybe you don't know how. Maybe you do, but for some reason have a hard time doing what needs to be done. When this happens for me, it's usually when I will feel overwhelmed by the build-up of day to day stresses.
It can be hard to pull myself out of the overwhelming, stressed feeling. I have to take time to meditate and clear my thoughts of all the negativity and shit. Why does it seem so easy for your mind to be clouded with negative, self sabotaging thoughts? I have to make myself take the time to sit quietly and honestly with myself. This is like my light reset button on a video game.
I sit quietly, focusing on my breathing to calm my body of any anxiousness or stress I feel. Thoughts soon flow of things that have added up to overwhelm me. I think about priorities and what matters most. Reminding myself of this helps align what I need to focus on most. The other smaller things that have been piling up can be dealt with and the stress of that will soon pass. It is like mentally ripping off a band-aid. But once you do, it's much easier to deal with what's underneath.
I also remind myself that I let myself become stressed and my daily decisions led me here. I have the power to deal with things and fix them. After this realization, it becomes easier to take the next step. It might not be easy but it's what I have to do in order to get where my heart yearns to go. By continuing to escape and ignore what's overwhelming me, it will most likely become worse when I rip off the band-aid and am forced to deal.
After reflecting on all of this, I made a list of how I persevere. And I will check this list again when I am down.
* When life gets tough, hold on to these thoughts and visions.
Keep your dreams close by.
Envision where you want to be and will be.
Remind yourself why you're doing this, how you want to feel, and how you can make the world better because of my dreams.
* Stop looking for outside answers when you need to look inward.
Don't compare yourself or your progress. Focus on YOU.
Stop procrastinating by looking into youtube videos and websites to learn. There is a time for this but not now. This often feels productive when you don't have to do anything but sit there and watch someone else DO when YOU should be DOING.
So lay out a basic plan and starting doing.
* Do a little bit everyday and build the habit.
You feel better when progress is made even if your goal seems far away.
Let your passion overcome laziness. If not, it could become a regret one day.
And you don't want to regret the "Shoulda, woulda, coulda" in life.
Commit yourself to DO in a short period of time. Just do 5 minutes. You may extend it or not. But after those 5 minutes, progress will have been made. And that will eventually add up.
* Death sits on my shoulder, reminding me of my mortality.
I often think of death. Maybe that's morbid, but I don't think so.
This calls for action. You don't have infinite time to get yourself out there and get things done.
When my loved ones have died in the past, I felt like they lived on in my heart and memories. They became part of me and I told myself that I would live as best as I could to keep part of them alive too. This was also a way for me to cope with losing them.
For writing the first post in a long time, this was definitely a heavier and personal topic for me. But I feel lighter for getting this all out. And maybe it will help you too.
Anyway, G. I miss ya! I leave for the cruise this Friday and will be gone for a week without any communication. This vacation is going to be my reboot, which is much needed right now. When I'm back, we'll go explore some parks and I will bring my dog. He is a blast to play with outside. And we can bring snacks too. I am looking forward to it!
<3
Kayla
Monday, June 30, 2014
Tiny Adventures: June Nature Shenanagins
Ginny,
I explored and played in nature a ton this month. I enjoy summertime in Georgia, but sometimes the humidity does not play around. I'll still go outside and play around though. Nothing can stop meeee!
Chattahoochee River: Swimming, Socializing, and Sizzling
I took one of my dogs, Obi, to swim in the Chattahoochee River. This was such a fun outing. It was nice to socialize with other people and dogs too. We all shared similar excitement in being there--both humans and dogs alike!
My boyfriend and I used to take our dogs to swim here all the time a couple years ago (when Obi was still a puppy). Obi didn't swim out too far. He didn't have much confidence in himself and was very nervous in new surroundings. But I worked with him on building up his confidence and he has grown so much! And he was able to enjoy swimming out in the deeper end! I even recorded a few seconds of it. :-)
My boyfriend went mountain biking while I hiked around with Obi. It felt exhilarating to keep pushing myself on some of those trails. I tested myself with balance, endurance, and a fear of heights. I pushed through any fear or doubt and kept going! I had no idea where I was going for a while and came across a heavily debris-ed area from all of the recent afternoon storms. Many fallen trees and branches lay in the trails with mud and creek all around them. A big creek sat next to all of that, so I had to balance on trees and hop across them to get across. And I saw a tree fall about 10 feet away. Very startling and crazy.
These pictures were snapped while Obi and I cooled off until the lover-pants made it back.
Grant Park with Ginnykins and Dani
I have been to Grant Park a few times but only explored the place once.
That afternoon, we relaxed by a serene pond and created flower chains. An adult-sized turtle kept popping her head up to check up on us. And we also got some pops from King of Pops (first time for me). Very refreshing. And very fun.
And that's all I got captured! The rest is locked in my mind. 'Til next time!
Sunday, June 29, 2014
Tiny Adventures: June Food
Dear Gin,
I have been trying new things and broadening my experiences. I am growing and working to become a better version of myself! It starts with attitude and action.
I've cooked this many times. But this time I changed my process a bit, used different salsa, and made a guacamole salad.
I have been trying new things and broadening my experiences. I am growing and working to become a better version of myself! It starts with attitude and action.
I took a few pictures of some things I did in June. I want to remember that feeling of accomplishment and facing the unknown. Passion and curiosity over laziness!
The Food
When I saw that organic brussel sprouts were on sale I knew now was the time to try them. I didn't follow a recipe to cook this. I just cooked it up the way I thought it would taste good. And it did! I was surprised, honestly. I've always heard people say something like "the only way they'll taste good is if you deep-fry 'em." Well, that's false. 'Cause these are delicious!
Sauteed Sprouts with Onion and Garlic
A bag of brussel sprouts
Onions
A clove or two (or more if you're so bold) of garlic
Seasoning like ground black pepper
A little bit of squeezed lemon
A scoop of white miso paste (for extra flavor which it didn't need)
A bag of brussel sprouts
Onions
A clove or two (or more if you're so bold) of garlic
Seasoning like ground black pepper
A little bit of squeezed lemon
A scoop of white miso paste (for extra flavor which it didn't need)
Quesadillas!
I've cooked this many times. But this time I changed my process a bit, used different salsa, and made a guacamole salad.
Oh my gosh I should look away from this picture. I'm about to start doing the Homer-Simpson-Drooling-Over-A-Donut-Sound.
Grapefruit
Why does grapefruit have to look so deceiving?
So juicy and vibrant. Plump and ripe.
I've tried it once before and wanted to try it again. It took me a few bites to reacquaint myself with this bitter citrus taste. I drizzled honey on it to make it a little sweeter, which turned it into a delightful snack. I ate the entire fruit!
And that's all I got for now. Every little bit of progress is better than none at all! ♥
Thursday, March 6, 2014
Sunday, February 23, 2014
Weekly Motivation
This year I've been making a point to face my fears. Most of them are small, but they are steps towards living a more free life. I'm not sky diving or going in any underwater caves anytime soon (or ever actually). I've been putting myself out there more and trying things I never thought I could do. And when I fail, it sucks. I'm not going to lie. But when I conquer I am seriously flying across the sky like Supergirl. And I gain experience and confidence in myself too. I feel proud of what I just accomplished. That is the best feeling and one to always strive for. COURAGE OVER FEAR!
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