Dear Kayla: hobbies, work, and international living

Dear Kayla,

Dear dear dear Kayla, I miss ya bud. I've finally gotten used to life over here, and I'm busy!

I feel you with the post-grad what-is-my-life-where-am-I-going-what-do-I-want-ahhhhh-anxiety. As much as I prepared for this trip, knowing I needed to escape my comfort zone and challenge myself, being here is far from what I expected. Or at least, I haven't felt the way I expected. Now that's I'm a month in, I am more open to where life will take me. I know to expect the unexpected. Who freakin' knows man. It's scary and exciting. But to make things happen for myself, jobs, opportunities, adventures, friendships, I have to be active. I have to seek them, passionately.

The biggest problem for me is being interested to SO MANY THINGS. They all captivate me. I thought while I was in Peru I would have some much time to read and look for jobs and study, etc. And I have had time, I just worry I'm spreading myself too thin. I'm staying here with my aunt, uncle (tios) and cousin (primo). My tios have four kids, all of them grown (although it's common here for kids to live with their parents until they get married). Anyway my cousin Yulissa plays guitar, but she's living in the States now. So lucky me gets to use her old classical and electric guitar. Woooooo. I'm pretty used to classical guitars, so I've been fooling around with the electric a lot, learning power chords and some of my favorite songs. But I have to write lesson plans as well and REALLY study Spanish. I have to leave the house at 8AM XD and this sucks. It means I have go to sleep around 11 or 11:30, which is so strange for me. My previous bedtime was around 2AM. I have to do all my activities (including blog posts) from 12-5pm.

And it continues. I also read Tina Fey's book Bossypants about a week ago [which I totally recommend to you, Kayla, and all you other readers out there]. I am currently immersed in Ernest Cline's novel Ready Player One. It's kind of a problem [I'm half way through and oh-mah-g freaking favorite book of the year so far]. I had to force myself to stop reading it so I could prepare for my Spanish exam today. So how I'm supposed to be the best teacher I can be, while also studying, reading heavily, playing guitar, and taking in a healthy gulp of Peruvian life? Time to make with the schedule I suppose. As you posted in a WM once, spend your life doing what you enjoy. I don't want to give anything up [in fact I want to add Yoga classes and volunteering as well>.<] but I think after my second month of Spanish classes, I'll stop. I want to learn as much as I can, but just communicating will help with that. Stress is not becoming of a lady either lol and I want to put enough effort into each of my activities.

Also woo Game of Thrones. It's over so sad. The books are amazing I've heard, need to get on that too. I actually have watched Arrested Development, but haven't started the new series yet. I was watching a lot of The Big Bang Theory over here [a student recommend it] but I laid off the juice around mid third season. I'm replacing TV with YouTube and book for now. Also way to lay off the cheese haha I have as well although only because I'm no longer working at a pizza place. Eating my aunt's cooking and the Peruvian cuisine makes me feel in better health that I've been in for a long time. More on that later in a What's in Your Noms? post. I'll leave you with this image of Lima. I'm living behind to the left of those two white buildings.

Hasta luego,

Ginny

Weekly Motivation

So if I feel nervous or scared, maybe it's a sign that I'm on the right track. Woo! So reassuring. Things are going well in Peru. I'll write you back soon Kayla. Enjoy your summer, post-grad adventures. I have plans for myself over here :3

xxxxx

G

Weekly Motivation

Everyday we have the chance to do something over or something new. Today is fresh! Work hard and conquer! That's a great way to start something new.

Dear Ginny: Graduation, Life, and Cheese

As you know, I graduated last month! The day of graduation didn't feel any different. The week of didn't feel any different. And you might have guessed, the week after didn't feel any different either. But within these past couple weeks, I do feel differently. Let me quickly state that I will never miss finals again. Haha, done with that mess. But I never thought I'd feel the way I am feeling right now. And I'm figuring out how to deal with it.

So let's start within a couple of weeks ago. Nothing really has changed too much in life to bring out this feeling. Something just snapped inside (not literally because I would possibly be in a hospital bed) and I don't know what triggered it. Somewhere in those weeks I realized that I am really done with college. And I always felt trapped while attending the university. Like I couldn't really live my life or go places or experience everything I wanted to do. Like it held me here and kept me detained or grounded. But then, I was free-- finally free. A huge sense of freedom overcame me. Until I realized that was short lived.

Job Search and the negativity that it brings. I am a positive person and always seek the good in situations. It's disheartening and discouraging at times to hear those say "good luck finding a job" so sarcastically and doubtfully. But I'm doing my own thing and not letting that negativity drag me down! So when I do find a job soon however, I'm afraid of being sucked into the 9-5 life and everything it entails. That's not freedom for me. Now, these are my feelings and I'm applying them to my life, so if perchance someone reads this and gets offended, well, don't. For my life, I don't fit that 9-5 mold. I will do it for now because I have to in order to eat, fuel my car, and pay the bills. And that's when it really hit me. I'm already getting caught up in the system of acting like a sheep that will become part of a mindless herd. That's not what I want out of life. It will consume my soul. I don't fit that lifestyle.

I don't want to get caught up in the monotonous day-to-day shenanigans and have ten years go by, and I'm still in the same place I was before.  I'm going to be 25 this year-- a quarter of a decade! Like, holy %&*#balls! <You can imagine the selection of colorful wording used there.  I always thought I wanted to be married at 25 and know exactly what I wanted to do with life, and I wanted my life to have some great purpose. As it turns out, I still don't know. I don't want to be married right now although I have a long-time boyfriend of whom I love immensely. And I don't even think I want to change my name or do some other traditional stuff. It does not apply to who I am and it's just an unnecessary inconvenience for me. Plus I'm an artist and writer! Changing my name would be bad for biz (of course I'd probably use a pen name anyway).

What it comes down is... I am just really starting to figure out what I want my life to be about. I gained a small bit of freedom in graduating (but then come the student loan payments! haha). I'm still young. Even if I wasn't, I'm always going to live by the standards and values I set for myself, regardless of what society deems standard. So, I want to go travel, see and experience other things and cultures. I want to explore and learn and have fun. I want to be able to laugh loudly and uncontrollably, always. There is so much out there to explore, so how can I settle down in one place for so long just because it's easy, comfortable, and convenient? And for me, that's not really living. We have one lifetime to do these things. And if I get caught up in some job here then I might just stay here for many more years, doing and experiencing the same thing over and over again. Although it seems a bit scary to go far away from my parents (because I love them and we have a good relationship), I just have to go. One day, however, I do want to settle down and make my own "nest." But that'll be further down in life.

Some days I expect myself to wake up as a 60 year old. Some moments I feel like I'm living inside my memory, or a flashback... if that makes sense. Like I'm literally living in a vivid flashback from my 20's. Also, I keep hearing (and now experiencing) how quickly time goes by. That scares me. I don't want to keep hearing that from older people! And they remember things from our age when they're already decades older. I can recall memories vividly from being a toddler! That was over 20 years ago!! Ah! This is partly why I feel like I'm living in a flashback at times. And it's small moments too, not big ones.

Cheese. Finally, the cheese! Well, I love cheese. And within the past month or so I have made a tremendous effort to eat less cheese, and dairy products in general. More vegan choices. Oh, the swiss, and my old friend sharp cheddar, and can't forget the mozzarella... I eliminated dairy from my diet for two weeks, then slowly added a little bit in. And in that time, I didn't feel bloated or mucusy. I felt much better without it. But now I'll eat just a tad bit of cheese every once in awhile. I still get plenty of protein, calcium, and other nutrients from natural products like kale and almond milk instead of cow milk. My body just feels better and I'm happier without it.

And I miss ya dude! I hope you're having some fun in Peru. Game of Thrones finale tonight-- AH!! I need to read these books already. I've been living in a series called "Arrested Development" which airs on Netflix. They recently renewed another season all the way from 2006. I've always heard about it, but never watched it. And I love it! The characters are hilarious. Buster is my favorite. You should check it out when you return to the states. And apparently Colorado wants to split into North and South Colorado. And that's about it here. Skype soon! I'm going to download it on my phone.

Weekly Motivation

It's been nearly two weeks since I arrived in Peru. To say things have been quite different would be an understatement. All my family here have been such wonderful hosts, and living in another country is mind blowing. But time seems to move differently here. When I was at home, being in such a day to day routine, one week, even one month could just fly by. But here every day is a new experience, and I'm learning new things about myself outside my normal surroundings. I've been going all over the place too, to Spanish class and English class, in crowded combis, and up mountains. I've only wet my toes--two week of a three month stay--yet part of me misses home, thinks that this challenge I gave myself is too much. Finally I had some time today to sleep in, meditate, and do some yoga. It helped me center myself. I know this won't be easy. Last time I was in Peru I remember writing that part of taking a trip is feeling uncomfortable. But I don't want to isolate myself and my feelings of loneliness is an unfamiliar place; I want to connect with people. Hope I can keep mediating to calm myself, and take each adventure or struggle one breathe at a time.

G